Monday, July 16, 2012

How to secure your own oxygen mask first...

In the event of a loss in cabin pressure, yellow oxygen masks will deploy from the ceiling compartment located above you. To secure, pull the mask towards you, secure the elastic strap to your head, and fasten it so it covers your mouth and nose. Breathe normally. Even if the bag does not inflate, please keep in mind that oxygen is flowing. Please make sure to secure your own mask before assisting others.

In my house we have a rule, and that is it.  To make sure your own mask is securely fastened before assisting the baby's.   We figured this out pretty early on and it probably had to do with eating.  I tend to get incredibly incredibly 'hangry' (hungry-angry: 'hangry'), I, probably at some point tried to nurse little ol' redding in this state and John realized it was no good, that I always need to take care of me or I'm a useless mommy.  So it's not unusual in my house for the baby to be crying and I run to the kitchen to get a glass of juice or a few crackers... and perhaps I'm completely wrong (I haven't read this advice in any of my research) But, I think it's better for him to cry an extra 50 seconds and me ensure that I'm able  to be a nurturing mom in that moment (and that's not even getting into the whole physical aspect/ milk letting down thing).

Sometimes there are many facets to one lesson though and I realized another to this one friday night. I was driving my car home in inconsolable tears.  Everything was wrong ... and nothing (I'm sure you know the story).  "I'm so tired" *sob* "I have nooo friends" *sniff* "the house is always dirty" *snort* "and I have nothing that fits" *wail*.  I was actually on my way home from a movie, so normally I'd be feeling revitalized, but I think some time to myself was just too far overdue. 
You know that you are in a bad spot when the thought crosses your mind 'I could just not go home ... I could just never go home ... again'.  And normally (ok not that normally, I've only thought this a couple times before now) the following thought would be 'oh no, that's awful- of course I want to go home!' ... But not this time, I was too far gone. Ya'll I'm serious, my next thought was: 'but not in my loafers, I  don't want to run away from home in my red skinny jeans and loafers' !!! 
When I got home a few minutes later, redding was awake crying too. So I nursed him back to sleep and we both laid there for twenty minutes doing the post-cry hiccuping. Poor, poor john. poor mommy. poor baby.
John and I had a serious talk the next day.  And by 'John and I' what I really mean is John sat me down and had a serious talk with me the next day. About trusting him to be ok with redding while I'm out of the house. About finally hiring that babysitter so we can get out once a week. About taking care and getting out of the house before it turns from a 'want' to a 'need'.  (Gee wiz I have a good man).
So, you wanna know what I did saturday night? I crashed at a girlfriends house, my first night away from redding.  It was full of girls, glitter, champagne and dancing until 3 am.  And would you like to know the best part? sunday morning I came home (with a slight headache) and loved that baby so much harder and appreciated him so much more.  
Moral of the story: when mommy takes care of herself, everyone benefits.

So, mothers (heck, everybody needs this!) let's remember to H.A.L.T.  Are you Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? That's a little acronym I learned many many lifetimes ago in rehab, but that my friends, is a story for another day.

 Take care of yourselves today lovelies! (and I will too! promise!)


  1. i seriously almost started crying. that's me. that's totally me. my nights out are few, and out with my husband are even fewer. i'm a stay home mommy to 3 boys 5 and under (one is almost 11 months old). thank you <3

    ps: i ALWAYS make sure i have a beverage or something before i sit down to nurse, even if attikus is crying. you are right, a happy mommy is a better mommy :)

    1. I can't even imagine what it's like with 3 boys. It's like you just have to budget it babysitting money every month. But, as an old nanny, I know how pricey it can get with 3. Do y'all do like babysitting group with other couples? perhaps thats an idea - like this friday night y'all babysit we go out and next week vice versa. annnnnyways, that's just me brainstorming.
      HEY redding's middle name is atticus ... ! you know, but with a 'c' ... SUCH a great name!

    2. we have done some sitting-swap with friends, but now that we have three, that would leave our friends with 5 kids! most of them are in the same age group. i wonder how nuts THAT would drive me?? ha!
      luckily, we do have one, very good, and very reliable babysitter who will come out for us, and she doesn't charge us an arm and a leg. since the kids go to bed around 8, we can leave pretty close to bedtime and not be getting out too late. but it's only once every couple months, you know? maybe we will talk with some of our friends and explore that idea again. :)
      thank you! i really like that name, redding atticus. i'm a big fan of strong and unique names. my others are: xavier odin, oliver kyuss, and attikus stark.

  2. I recently had one of those fits as well. I completely lost it after we got back from Vegas. I was so tired lol. I just started bawling and rattling off a list of things that were bugging me which included repeats of "I'm so tired. I just want to sleep." It helps, sometimes, to just get it out. Glad you got a girls night out and are feeling better mama. I am going to remember your little acronym because sometimes I just lose my shit and wonder if all of my marbles are going to be lost. :]

  3. that HALT idea is blowing me away right now. I realize that 1 of those feelings at a time I can handle, but if 2 of them are together then I end up having all 4, and then I start making poor self decisions which make me feel even worse! thanks for the introspection help!

    1. YES! girl, it's so true! (I actually think they taught us that exact thing)

  4. Great advice and insight!
    As women, sometimes we seem to get so caught up in caring for everyone around us, that we totally forget to look after ourselves--that it's ok to have "me time" and recharge, that's it's HEALTHY, and, really, everyone's better for it in the end. So glad you had some fun time to revamp and recharge :]
    I love your spunk and honesty in your blogs. Thanks for being fabulous! :]

  5. Andrea this made me laugh and smile. This all is absolutely true! Sounds like you are learning quicker than most how to survive motherhood! And John is so awesome! Love. And you need to pick up the phone when you're crying like that and let me M-Oprah (that's what the girls at work call me) you! hehehe. Hope to see you this weekend. :) -Melody

    1. heck yes I do! sorry I should have called! hope you're doing well dearie!

  6. I almost started crying too.. My son is now 10 months (oh wait.. 11 months next week, yikes!) and I have been dealing with PPD. There were so many times when I was at my lowest that I would dream of running away. It's taken me a long time to come to the same conclusion you have - happy mommy, happy baby! Thanks for sharing this and 'keepin it real' :)